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INT. BOULEY RESTAURANT, NEW YORK - NIGHT
Dim lighting, crowd buzz, a long line of the rich, the celebrated,
the congenitally impatient. Everyone in this queue holds a
reservation at least an hour overdue. Tourists can't even make the
line. PAN ahead to...
... the burnished dining room, the tables of power, the elegant
service. Covertly, many eyes are drawn to the one table receiving
by far the most lavish service of all. Captains hover, presenting
delicacies, pouring wines, murmuring obsequiously to a guest whose
person they screen from our view. We can see, however...
... the honored guest's companion. Ignored, bemused, across the
table. This is DIGGER DOWNES, 36, darkly attractive. Kind eyes,
an intellectual's mouth, Saville Row's most unobtrusive and
conservative chalk-stripe suit. He is gay, but you wouldn't guess
it. Loyal and wise and generous, and you might. He watches with a
quiet twinkle, as the Captains now step back, revealing to us...
... their most unlikely icon. JULIANNE POTTER, almost 28, wears
her favorite bulky sweater over a bunch of other stuff she pulled
together in fifteen seconds. She is unkempt, quick, volatile,
scattered, and beneath it all, perhaps because of it all, an
original beauty. Dark liquid eyes, a cynical mouth, slender
expressive fingers, which point to...
CAPTAIN
A variation on our squid ink
risotto. Trace of Moselle, to
sweeten the stock.
She doesn't like that idea at all. Shoots him a sharp look of
doubt that makes him smile. Murmur...
CAPTAIN
Don't kill us on this one, it's
a long shot.
Places the moist lump of black rice before her. She takes a
surprisingly small amount, rolls it over her tongue. Makes dead
flat eye contact with Digger. And nods, it's actually quite nice.
The Captain breathes with relief. She turns her dark eyes to him.
The tone says they're pals...
JULIANNE
I'm writing it up as inventive and
confident. Which it is. Off the
record, I'll need an extra boat of
the ink. Or a salt shaker.
CAPTAIN
I'll toss a coin.
As the Captain splits, Digger looks around at the other tables,
which makes many pairs of eyes awkwardly glace away.
DIGGER
Is it ever embarrassing, having
your bum kissed in public?
JULIANNE
If your ass isn't chapped, you
are not a good-writer of note.
She glances at her two remaining waiters, who shamelessly fawn
nearby.
JULIANNE
Is it sad to be an editor, and bask
only in reflected insincerity?
DIGGER
I've adjusted, and thanks for asking.
She leans forward, as if sharing something conspiratorial.
JULIANNE
See the pull of a book like
Twenty Chefs, is not who I
put in. It's who I leave out.
DIGGER
Which is everyone you couldn't
get in.
JULIANNE
Plus some guys whose food I don't
like.
Pushes the risotte across to him. He lifts a fork.
DIGGER
This fellow from Newsday ever
call?
She shrugs. Pulls a cellular out of a large, jumbled bag.
JULIANNE
I'll buzz my machine. Inventive
and confident, yeh?
She dials. He tastes.
DIGGER
Needs salt.
JULIANNE
Is Newsday a real interview, or
just some cute guy you're setting
me up w...
DIGGER
... I don't send you men, anymore.
You don't know what to do with them.
She's punching in her code.
JULIANNE
Sometimes I do. Like for two months.
DIGGER
... weeks.
Over the phone, we hear her answering machine...
MAN'S VOICE (V.O., soft)
Hey. It's Michael.
And her face changes. Warms. Just to hear the guileless voice.
MICHAEL (V.O.)
God, it must be, what, months, huh?
I can't wait to talk to you. I'm
in Chicago at the Ritz Carlton...
She looks impressed and surprised. Fancy place for this guy.
MICHAEL (V.O.)
Call me four in the morning,
whatever, we gotta talk.
As she hangs up. She still has that look in her eye. Digger has
never seen that, and he likes it very much.
DIGGER
Who called? The man of the
moment?
She smiles. A sweet, natural smile that makes us like her, too.
The Bohemian sophisticate has vanished.
JULIANNE
No, no, the opposite. That's
my best friend, Michael O'Neal.
He sounds desperate to talk.
DIGGER
The wandering sportswriter.
He pushes the risotto back her way.
DIGGER
I didn't know you two had a
past.
Her gaze sharpens. Hmmn?
DIGGER
The look in your eye.
She blushes. Shakes her head, no way.
JULIANNE
Sophomore year at Yale we had
this one hot month. And, you
know me, I got restless...
He knows her. She got restless.
JULIANNE
So I get up the nerve to break
his heart. I tell him there's
this dreamy exchange student
from Pakistan who wants to,
you know...
He knows.
JULIANNE
And he gets this... look. He
says, "I knew I couldn't hold
your interest", which, of course,
makes me feel like the shallow
bitch I've always been...
He nods, yeah.
JULIANNE
Then he says, "But what makes
me want to cry. Is I'm losing
the best friend I ever had."
Hears the feeling. In her voice.
JULIANNE
And when he said it, I knew.
I felt the same.
Silence now. She covers with a smile.
JULIANNE
So I cried. For maybe the third
time in my life. And I kissed
him. And we've been best friends
ever since.
Ever since. Fingers turning her wine glass...
JULIANNE
Nine years, we've seen each other
through everything. Losing jobs,
losing parents, losing lovers...
travelled all over, we've had the
best times. The best times of my
life, maybe. Just drinking and
talking. Even over a phone.
DIGGER
Kindred spirits.
JULIANNE
No, he's nothing like me. He's
like you. Only straight.
No offense taken.
JULIANNE
He's the salt of the earth. Kind
and loyal and generous. The one
constant thing in my life, is he'll
always be there.
DIGGER
He's still in love with you.
That stops her. She has to say...
JULIANNE
Maybe. But it never gets in
the way.
Something she probably hasn't confessed out loud before. Digger
understands.
DIGGER
Well, he has a true friend in
you.
He wants her to know he sees that.
DIGGER
Whenever George tells someone
how steadfast I am, he always
makes me sound boring.
JULIANNE
Solid and genuine is not boring.
Michael can be completely insane...
A young waiter arrives. Sets a boat of black squid ink beside her
plate.
JULIANNE
There was this one night in
Tucson, like six years ago...
we got amazingly drunk, I mean,
Keith Richards time...
The kid tops off her glass of meursault. Looking at her.
JULIANNE
God, I haven't thought of this
in so long...
The waiter hanging now. Openly listening.
JULIANNE
I can even believe we did
this...
Digger sees the guy listening, gestures to her with his eyes. So
she looks up.
JULIANNE
Could you give us a minute?
The kid stunned, speechless. People lose jobs for a lot less.
JULIANNE
You won't miss much, I promise
there was no sex.
He reddens and disappears.
DIGGER
I've lost interest.
JULIANNE
He takes a razor from his dinky
little dopp kit, cuts his fingertip,
takes my hand, does the same to me...
She places the tips of her index fingers together.
DIGGER
Blood oath.
JULIANNE
He says, "Swear. When we're both
28, if we've never been married...
we marry each other!"
And laughs again. Can you believe that? But Digger isn't smiling.
She wonders why. Begins to spoon black squid ink onto her risotto.
JULIANNE
See, he figured that would be a
sign from God, or someone of
comparable authority, that we'd
misunderstood our destinies.
He still has this real serious look. She's still spooning ink.
JULIANNE
We never talked about it again. I
don't know what made me think of...
DIGGER (quietly)
I do.
And everything. Stops. She lifts her spoon, mesmerized by the
gravity of his tone.
DIGGER
You'll be 28 in three weeks.
How old is he?
Holy. Fucking. Shit. It hits her like a ton of lead bricks. She
shovels some swampy risotto into her mouth, without looking.
JULIANNE
You think...
DIGGER
Desperate. To talk.
She shovels in more drippy black goop. It is really disgusting.
JULIANNE
He's not proposing marriage,
there's no way I'm buying one
word of th...
DIGGER
Then why are you compulsively
eating? If you're not hysterical?
More goes in. Her lips and mouth completely black. Like a circus
clown.
JULIANNE
He can't do that to me!
DIGGER
We're about to find out.
Ink is now dribbling out of the black hole of her mouth and down
her face. She absently dabs a napkin, keeping some of it from
reaching her sweater.
JULIANNE
When I turn him down...
She realizes the full weight of the truth.
JULIANNE
We'll never be the same.
DIGGER
I have a suggestion...
JULIANNE
I'll have to kill myself before I
call him.
Staring in each other's eyes.
DIGGER (sadly)
That was it.
INT. JULIANNE'S BATHROOM - LATE NIGHT
Julianne furiously scrubs her blackened tongue with a toothbrush.
Gray foam pours from her mouth, spattering the oversized basketball
jersey she wears as a nightshirt. In the mirror, her troubled eyes
dwell on Michael, flick to the cordless phone standing ominously on
the closed toilet lid.
She spits, sticks her tongue way out. Incredibly black. Great.
Depressed, terrified, and disfigured for life. She snatches up the
hated phone, and wanders aimlessly into...
... her bedroom. West Village view. Defiantly jumbled, aggres-
sively eclectic. Traces of wonderful taste mixed with I-like-it-
you-got-a-problem-with-that? She stumbles around, rehearsing...
JULIANNE
This is awkward timing, Michael,
I just joined this convent, and
they never give your deposit ba...
Stops. Full-length mirror. She straightens her hair, to look her
best.
JULIANNE
Michael, I'm married.
Not enough.
JULIANNE
... and I have two weeks to live.
Changes tone...
JULIANNE
Michael, I'm trying to be gay,
don't confuse me.
She turns to continue pacing, and walks straight INTO a dresser.
Stuns her, momentarily. Enough, already! She punches up the
number, primping absently in the mirror. When it connects...
JULIANNE
I was calling Michael O'Neal,
but seeing it's so late, I could
just leave a mes...
No such luck. Cut off. Waits. And then...
JULIANNE (soft)
Good evening, sir. You've been
enrolled in the Obscene Call Of
The Month Club, and th...
MICHAEL (V.O.)
Hey! God, it's so good to hear
your voice.
She forgets herself. Because it's good to hear his, too.
MICHAEL (V.O.)
I've been calling for days!
JULIANNE Yeh, well my old machine kept
eating messages. I tried
constructively ignoring it in
hopes of improvement, but finally...
MICHAEL (V.O., urgent)
Look, I have to ask you something.
She swallows.
MICHAEL (V.O.)
Something so incredibly important,
that if you turn me down, I don't
know what I'll d...
JULIANNE (bright)
I just have to tell you this one
thing first, okay? I mean this
will hand you the biggest laugh
of your adult life...
Silence. Come on girl, suck it up.
JULIANNE
I was thinking about you, and I
remembered this unbelievably insane
night we spent together in Tucson,
like a thousand years ago?
More silence. Really quiet.
JULIANNE
I mean, there's no way you could
possibly remember the...
MICHAEL (V.O., soft)
Are you kidding?
Stops her. Like a brick wall. The sweetness in his voice.
MICHAEL (V.O.)
I think about that night all
the time.
She's going to have a heart attack.
MICHAEL (V.O.)
But it's not why I called.
She blinks. It's not. And just as a tsunami of relief begins to
sweep away...
MICHAEL (V.O.)
I called because I met someone.
And her smiles breaks off. Like a spine snapping. Because there is
something in his voice.
JULIANNE
Well, that's great. You haven't
really had anybody since Dingbat Jennylee...
MICHAEL (V.O.)
You don't understand. I've never
felt this way about anybody!
Never. She sits down, hard. Right on the floor.
MICHAEL (V.O.)
And she's all wrong for me!
JULIANNE
Well, somet...
MICHAEL (V.O.)
I mean she's a junior at Chicago
University, she's twenty years
old! Like when I first met you.
Like when. Julianne's mouth is suddenly dry.
MICHAEL (V.O.)
And her dad is like this billionaire
who owns the White Sox and some cable
empire, and you know how I've always
been miserably awkward around those
kinda stuffed suits...
She's finally making her mouth work...
JULIANNE
Well, sure.
MICHAEL (V.O.)
But they're so down to earth, such
wonderful people...
JULIANNE
You've met her parents.
MICHAEL (V.O., quiet)
Well. Sure.
Wow.
MICHAEL (V.O.)
See. We're getting married.
This Sunday.
There's a knife in her heart. She can scarcely breathe.
JULIANNE
Michael, it's Wednesday night,
you can't possibly be getting
married on Su...
MICHAEL (V.O.)
Actually, it all starts tomorrow.
It's one of those four-day weddings,
with all the traditional events, and
ten million people flying in from
Madagascar such.
JULIANNE (incredibly lame)
Aren't you... working this weekend?
I mean, is that responsible?
MICHAEL (V.O.)
Well, the Sox are at home. SI's
letting me do a profile on the Big
Hurt. That's Frank...
JULIANNE
(barely audible)
... Thomas, yeh.
She's staring at herself in the mirror.
MICHAEL (V.O.)
Jules. I'm scared.
A straw to lunge at.
JULIANNE
Well, maybe we should talk ab...
MICHAEL (V.O.)
I need you.
So heartfelt. A lifetime of emotion welling in her eyes.
MICHAEL (V.O.)
If you can't come. And hold my
hand. I'll never get through this.
Oh.
MICHAEL (V.O.)
Please come, please.
JULIANNE
W...
MICHAEL (V.O.)
I can't wait for you to meet her!
HOLD ON Julianne. Staring in the mirror. Like watching the end of
her life.
INT. BEDROOM - LATER
The closet, the armoire, all the drawers are wide open. Two huge
suitcases open on the bed, into which Julianne is flinging clothes,
as she fumbles to smoke and dial at the same time. Over the phone,
now...
DIGGER (V.O., machine)
You've reached Digger and George.
Brevity will be appreciated.
BEEP.
JULIANNE (in a rage)
IT'S ME AGAIN, WHY AREN'T YOU GUYS
UP HAVING SAFE SEX??
SNATCHES up a tiny, clingy, sexy dress. Pouts at it.
JULIANNE
OR, IN THE ALTERNATIVE, WHY AREN'T
YOU INTERRUPTING IT TO ANSWER
THE PHONE??
She holds the dress against her body. It's hot.
JULIANNE
YOU, YOU, YOU! IT'S ALL ABOUT
YOU, ISN'T IT??
She clicks OFF. Checks the dress in the mirror. Raises the short
skirt a little higher.
INT. DIGGER'S CHEROKEE, JFK AIRPORT - EARLY MORNING
Digger driving the open-air Cherokee up the ramp to United Airlines
departures. Julianne, wind-whipped, trying to light a fresh
cigarette from the butt of the last one. He glances over. Hates
to see this...
DIGGER
You can't get lung cancer and
die in four days. Go to Plan B.
She sucks deep. Really deep.
JULIANNE
You have no appropriate sense
of emergency. My best friend
is ruining his life.
DIGGER
No, he's ruining yours.
JULIANNE
Same difference. If you love
someone, it's your duty to save
them from themselves.
DIGGER
You have a real philosophy of
life.
JULIANNE
It's called the Law of Love,
asshole.
She is tight enough to snap. And at the edge of tears. Staring
out at the skycaps, clinging to her cigarette, as he eases to the
curb.
DIGGER (gently)
Why don't we have a drink? You
could catch a later fl...
JULIANNE
I'm a busy girl. I've got four
days to break up a wedding, and
steal the bride's fella.
She finally looks at him. He doesn't say anything.
JULIANNE
He's adored me for nine goddamn
years.
DIGGER
I can see why.
JULIANNE
She knows him maybe five seconds,
plus she has billions of dollars,
plus she's perfect, so don't go
feeling sorry for Miss Pre-Teen Illinois!
He's not. So her voice softens. Which shows the hurt.
JULIANNE
And don't go feeling sorry for
me, you don't know me that well.
We're only friends.
DIGGER (softly)
I stand corrected.
Tears now. Stand in her eyes.
JULIANNE
I'm making a big mistake, huh?
DIGGER (shrugs)
Maybe you'll learn something.
He wraps his hand over hers. She looks down at it.
JULIANNE
I'm gonna bring him back, man.
Against all odds, y'know. Cos
if I don't...
She wraps her fingers around his.
JULIANNE
... I gotta live with it forever.
Looks in his eyes.
JULIANNE
And at my wedding. I'll be the
only bride with her own best man.
And she kisses his cheek.
Jumps out of his car. Before she cries. Yanks her bags from the
back. Brave smile.
They trade small salutes. And then she's gone.
INT. O'HARA AIRPORT, CHICAGO - MORNING
The jetway disgorging passengers into the swarming ant colony
called O'Hare. Julianne lugging multiple carry-ons, trying to pull
fly-away strands of hair into place, nervous as a schoolgirl,
looking all around, and...
... there he is. MICHAEL is tall and square-shouldered, a boyish
grin, an unruly shock of hair. He looks gorgeous, sweet, and just
dangerous enough to be irresistible. Worthwhile stakes. His face
lights to see her, and she...
... RUNS to his arms, shedding bags along the way, slamming off
heedless civilians, to be...
... SWEPT OFF the earth in strong arms, spun around, laughing like
crazy, their cheeks tight together. When he sets her down...
... he kisses her nose. His arms are still around her.
MICHAEL (murmurs)
Can you believe it? Can you believe
I'm actually gonna do this?
JULIANNE (lost in his eyes)
Not hardly.
He beams. Turns. She follows his gaze, and...
... there she is. KIMBERLY WALLACE is 20, small and slender, but it
is a body to die for. The face is striking, not at all perky and
vapid, but lovely and interesting. Worst of all, intelligent.
She walks toward them purposefully, her eyes locked to the woman in
her fiancee's arms. At the last moment, Michael releases Julianne
and Kimmy...
... THROWS her arms around the startled visitor. HOLDS her tight,
with such genuine warmth that Julianne can only, slowly, hug back.
As Michael beams.
KIMMY
This just makes everything so
perfect.
Her arms stay around the slightly dazed Julianne. The younger
girl leans close, confides...
KIMMY
All I've heard, from the day I
met Michael, is Julianne this,
and Julianne that...
JULIANNE
Well, we're...
KIMMY
I think the best part of marrying
this guy is finding you.
Pale gray eyes. Alive with joy and intimacy.
KIMMY
I've never had a sister.
INT. KIMMY'S CONVERTIBLE - DAY
Kimmy TEARING down the throughway in her Mercedes 500 SL, a
dashing, confident driver. Julianne riding shotgun, hair flying, a
total wreck, in the open convertible. Michael is happily crouched
on the little platform behind their seats, hugging his knees. The
roar of the wind makes it impossible for him to hear them.
KIMMY
My heart's in my throat, here.
Right off, I have to ask this
monstrous favor...
JULIANNE
You need a few dollars.
Kim glances over. At eighty miles an hour. A bittersweet look.
KIMMY
Dry. Just like he said.
Her eyes at once admiring and regretful.
JULIANNE
Excuse me?
KIMMY
I can be quick. I can even
be funny.
Shakes her head. An endearing youngster.
１、２、３、４、５、６、７、８、９
